Employee Retention

IT has evolved alot during the years, the process of Software development and design has evolved with it. It's evolved to such an extent that, it's more like unskilled labour now, maybe not all IT but definitely the Software development part of it.

1. Starting from recruitment, Engineers from all disciplines can get into IT (atleast in India, where the opportunities in specific trades are very less). Even non-engineers, Science grads apply for jobs in IT and make it as developers.

2. Everyone of them is then put to a standard training session, simple basics. After all the basic is same across all languages.

3. Project assignments are not based on how good a person is after training, it's based on how many should be 'billed' for the project.

4. Code to be delivered for a project, goes to stringent reviews, documentation and the end result of which is 'deployable working code' for the client.

5. The recruitment process continues and fills up a 'bench' of replacements for the developers in various projects. Trainings in specific products and disciplines will be taken up by the 'competency'

6. Every developer is expendable and every developer has a replacement. A developer if he's good, he'll be able to find new jobs, better roles and better pay. There is never a shortage of developers, but there definitely is a cost for a 'good' developer.

So I guess now I've justified that a developers job in an IT company is slowly becoming unskilled labour. People are expendable, so what is the 'Employee Retention' programs in IT companies. And how effective are they?

Is it cheaper recruiting from outside than retaining your talents from within the company?

What ensures that an employee who is retained will stay even after a raise or a promotion?

What's the number of employees retained in an IT Company?

I don't feel like it

What's it? Why do you need to feel like something in order to do the work? They call it work because it's difficult, not because it's something you need to feel like.

- Seth Godin.

He might be the biggest 'gas bag'/'gyan dad' in the whole world, but this line actually did make sense. 'They call it work because it's difficult'.

Everyday I go through this, 'I don't feel like going to work today?' phase in the morning. I work in a project which is in the support phase now. The work is boring, you will have lines of logs and trace files of failed transactions to analyse. Annoying mails to reply to. Design a hotfix for a issue. Hack an existing process flow to fit in 'an exceptional' scenario in their business. It's tough, it's boring, it doesn't have the jazz of the normal development phase. This line has given me a different perspective to the way I look at my work.

But there is this other kinda of 'working' IT guy especially, a species found in typical Indian Outsourcing firms. The ones who fill up an 'imaginary' bench, waiting their way to another project. What would inspire him to go to office. Do his time, check his feeds and have lunch and go home. He/She also 'goes to work', what would inspire him to go to work. This line would not work for him for sure. There is nothing to feel like... there's no WORK!!!

Permanent

It's anyway was not our permanent residence, but we slowly started liking it. It never score a 100 on the her scale, but I bet there were times when she started thinking of it as her own. I'm totally devastated, never saw this coming. What do I have to lose, I have an apartment for myself, I have two great roommates to share the place with. Then why do I feel like I have some big weight on chest.

I wouldn't have felt so bad if it was somebody whom I was not this close. We are not related, we don't even come from the same place. We've not studied together anywhere, but coming to think of it we basically would have the same blood type. I know how hard it was them for them to shift from Pune to Hyderabad. Though I know the place was no where near to a place, next to what they had in Pune, it kills me to see them have to go through the whole exercise again. If it was happening to me, it would have been fine, what do a guy who lives out of a suitcase care about leaving a place, but not them for Christ sakes!!!

It's been sometime... a longtime... since I prayed, sometime since I opened a Bible. I feel like I lost a Wimbledon to Nadal. I feel so not in control of what's happening around me. I feel that I'm being made aware of something cruel, strange and powerful controlling all of us...

OK. I give up, you win... again... but why don't you win FOR me for a change...

Reading Disorder

All my friends read alot, all kinds a books. Fiction, non-fiction you name it, they do make it a point to read a book a month I guess. The last book I read was... Seth Godin's 'Free Prize Inside'... Ok I didn't finish it... So that won't count... Asimov's 'Foundation'... didn't finish... Diary of Anne Frank... didn't finish... I did finish Da Vinci Code... I did finish Armstrong's 'It's not about the Bike'... I did finish the 'Google story' that VnA gifted me...

I used to read alot... I was totally into all the Five Find-outers, Secret Sevens, Hardy Boys Case files, then went into some Crichton... Eric Segal... Tolkien... don't know when I lost interest... don't know when I just stopped giving life to the all words in paperback in my mind.

Got to find my way back to reading... maybe should start with some old Secret Sevens... baby steps... One book at a time...

Running water

(Image courtesy:http://www.cs4fn.org)

Woke up to a dry tap... chances are, I might have to bathe in deo and go dry clean today. Running water, it's just a big confidence to a person in a house. It's not that you are using water for entire 24 hrs in a day but, it's that confidence that you have it at all times when ever you turn on turn on the tap. For all those unseen emergencies, the confidence that a tap with running water provides, is 'assurance' defined.

Need to find a new direction

Feeling like I'm into some sick routine everyday. Some shitty design change, some pending issues, some crappy meeting to sit through. Need to find a new direction... need to lock on to this new direction... been wasting time for a long time... it's now time to make a change

(is it me or do you guys also here the 'Eye of the tiger' song in the background?)

(Image courtesy: barbiismyname.files.wordpress.com)

Just wanted to remind you guys on what my friends were up to. Here

Fake sense of urgency

(image courtesy:labs.gerbenrobijn.nl)

I had a very frustrating day in office today. I do totally understand that my project is not an ideal one. It a great specimen for a totally dysfunctional project. A prefect case study on what a project should NOT be. Add a client who doesn't give a damn about the project, you get yourself a project with no end. Frustrated team, bone headed managers, making the same mistake over and over again.

After years and years of scope creeps, no proper requirement gathering or requirement sign-offs. The project has still not seen the light of the day. There's no direction to project, just bogus Go-Live dates. Wastage of resources on weekends in a very desperate attempt to show the top brass a fake 'sense of urgency'.

With just days before the latest or the newest 'Go-Live' date, we are still suffering from scope creep. Everyday there is a new requirement, a new change, that is being added on to the scope. What we end up doing is add on to what we have to deliver and later end up fixing issues caused by proper impact analysis to new changes we take in.

Dear Client,

I know we messed up, we have two of your lines of businesses ready for you ready to use. We'll make amends to whatever we have not catered to on a priority basis in the coming releases. But we want you to start using the product and provide us with your feedback. Lets not complicate the roll out and the transition by adding more to the current scope. The current approach is not helping either of us in anyway.

Now this would work if:

• Our client is from some Bollywood movie.
• We have shown some credibility in what we done so far.
• We were professional enough and not act like greedy mercenaries trying to con the client with 'interim' solutions and 'temporary fixes'
• If we have a good Customer facing team managing customer expectations.
• A good Project Management team.

Is there a way out for us. I don't think so, IT industry in itself is a filthy industry with no credibility. It's a industry where no one owns up a project failure but you'd find many to own up a project success. It's an industry where blame chains play a far more important role than root cause analysis. CRs and Billing rates means more than what the 'Customer really wants'. Deadlines will whoosh past you. Deadlines would like seasons that come and go and never a date that has to be met. And most important, there will always be somebody to blame. So nobody gets fired for the project being delayed for all these years. 'Dud for brains' Project managers will still be managing projects.

There will still be bad days in your project where you still feel like pulling your hair out. So rather than wasting your energy worrying about this. Enjoy the 'free' internet access and occasionally crib about how much your work sucks, as you enjoy the fat paychecks for doing almost close to nothing.

Advantage YOU!!!

23 Red Roses

It was a Sunday.

Those days when church was never to be missed.

It was the coldest bath ever.

Shivering he gets on the Bus.

The flower shop had the 23 preordered Red Roses waiting for me, arranged beautifully in a vase.

Carefully held the roses and called an auto, summoning all his guts... set meter to the place.

His heart clocked beats like Usain Bolt on a final 100m dash.

He pulls out the beautiful greeting card and a letter... 23 lines for every year.

Signed, Sealed.. and yet to delivered.

From the car park... looking up to the top most floor.

The the call is made, the phone never rang this slow.

She picks up... there is a half sleepy voice at the other end.

'Can you come down... I'm at the car park.'

Trying hard not to scream and wake her friends she makes way through the house and opens the door, phone in hand and looks down... he's not joking... he is at the car park.

Lift door opens... beep beep beep... Lift Door Closes.

Must have been the slowest lift in the whole world.

Beep beep beep... Lift Opens... Lift Closes.

'Happy Bday Mollae'

Thanksgiving

Today was Christmas , it was the a Christmas away from home. No mass at my regular Church, no appam and stew for breakfast, no mumma cake for Christmas. This is not my first Christmas away from home I guess, but this is Christmas is different from the rest because, today I never missed any of these today. Todays Christmas was at Vasu's with LSD and Aravind. A good memory, a Christmas with family away from home. More details on this family of mine sometime later. I owe God an apology I guess, I've been not thankful for my life for a long period of time. It's partly to do with not taking some chances that I should have taken (there will never be a post about this). Today I, Bijou Mani Thomas, wants to set the record straight with God.

• I'm not being punished for making the wrong choices in this life.
• I'm lucky. I have the best set of friends that, only I can have. The only set of friends that I can call my own family away from home.
• I have homes that I can call myself, and walk in at any hour, and not be considered a pain in the @$$.
• Today I realized, that losses I have had many, many that I know I'll never get back. But what I've been gifted weighs more than what I have lost. Today I realized, I'm blessed.

Today I'm thankful for this life.

(Image Courtesy: teara.govt.nz)

It gets adjusted

One of the best things about Hyderabad is this awesome means of public transport called 'Share Auto'. It's the Mumbai metros but it's not a train, it's an auto. Profession no bar, religion no bar, education no bar everybody shares the same ride. They do cram 7 including the driver in the auto but it's pretty cool a ride. My favourite seat is the one with the driver, the left one. More butt space and if you are a righty, you get your natural right hand to confidently seat yourself.

From my place to my first stop where I hop on our Red Palio, the share auto ride costs me 4Rs. Most of the time I end up paying 5 Rs to the auto guy. I ended up losing a rupee to the auto guy, because he doesn't have change. Today, one of the most unusual days of all, I had two rides and both of the time, when the driver didn't have enough change he kinda waived the extra rupee off.

It all gets adjusted, we lose sometime, but we gain the same some other time. It all gets adjusted. You miss home alot but you have two places like home you can walk into any point in time. Two families to call your own other than home. It all gets adjusted.

Speed breakers... Sleep breakers

It's a very innovative way to prevent you from over speeding and injuring 'others'. If you don't respect to these man made creations on almost every Indian road, it's bound to kill you. And this is the unique service that it provides. It just kills you, nobody else other than you gets hurt. No! you might not know where and when there is a speed breaker, because most of the time, there won't be a road sign or a properly marked speed bump on the road. So always be alert, pay your respects to the speed breakers. Slow down and pass, you might have to break hard that the road should feel that you are sort of bowing down to it.

There is another variant of the same that's found on highways. They come in pairs, there should be atleast two. Now these are what I would like to call 'Sleep Breakers'. It's a highway, you have to 'have to' drive at night, we are human, to sleep is human, to sleep while driving is 'crazy' human. So sleep breakers shake the sleep off you. It's like somebody holding you and shaking you left and right, left and right and snap... you're awake. These usually with some luck, does come with big road signs which say, bump ahead and all. Most of em read as 'Speed bump ahead', which you should normal read as 'Speed bump... RIGHT Heeeee eEeeeeeReeeeeE!!!!'

Yesterday night I had an episode where I nearly took off from the seat off a Bullet for not paying respects to a Speed Breaker. Don't worry, nobody got hurt, I guess we just got a warning. That's all for now, drive safe.

Who do we blame it on?

We must begin by acknowledging the hard truth that we will not eradicate violent conflict in our lifetimes. There will be times when nations -- acting individually or in concert -- will find the use of force not only necessary but morally justified.

- Barack Obama (more here)

This sentence caught my attention. 'We will not eradicate violent conflict in our lifetimes' a small yet simple truth right. So now it's not in our hands, war and violence will be part and parcel of being human. Now who do we blame this state of mankind on. Whom do we blame it on.

1. Free Will- Blame it on 'free will', the greatest gift given to man. That which makes us human is what makes us stupid and violent.

2. God, Religion - Blame it on mankind's belief in some force or power that's beyond his reach. The one thing that he says is the answer to that question about everything. Blame it on his need to have given it a name. Blame it on teaching his children his experiences with this 'answer' of his.

3. Caste and Creed - Blame it on our differences in skin color, language, ethnicity.

I guess we did mess up big time. The whole idea of being threatened by another human being is what makes us animals. God threw in a good helping of free will and logic what messed it up all i guess. Now that would not be true right, other animals have the same gift, except for opposable thumbs.We have intelligent dogs, yesterday I saw killer whales hunting on a grey whale and there's logic in them. There is free will and there's logic in all animals alike, maybe a tad greater in humans I guess. Animals also fight, they are territorial, they still don't have Gods and religion, when they fight, hunt, kill... it's all tagged 'survival of the fittest' or 'Being on top of the Food Chain'. Maybe the reason to all this violence, war and all is still this same thing 'Survival of the fittest', it just is in a bigger scale, a scale which God even wouldn't have fathomed.

Rephrasing Obama: We'll never eradicate violent conflict in 'any' of our lifetimes.

We never can, it's part and parcel of being human, being the animal we all are within. This how it's meant to be. But there is hope, we'll only be able to fight for all this, till we have this beautiful planet to fight for. Since we are doing a good job at destroying our planet too, we might see the end of 'war' and 'violence' in 'this planet' in just a few more centuries. Earth would be considered FUBAR one day. Humans would stop fighting for earth one day, move to a newer planet and continue from where we left on earth.

(Image Courtesy: bluray.ign.com)

4 flights and a wedding

Just got back from a wedding from Gujarat. I went to attend my best friend Anurag's sister, Charu's wedding. Rajasthani bride weds Gujju groom. The highlight of this trip was this awesome 'Garba' on the night of the engagement. Boy! was it wicked, they just rocked the place like anything.

Now 'Garba' is like a Gujju version of the 'Thiruvathira', but the music to which they dance is quite fast and the dancers just dance and don't sing. I'm not pretty sure whether the 'Thiruvathira' dancers sing, but the pace of the dance is quite slow. Thiruvathira is a all girl dance thing while this is like a guys and girl thing. If the whole group comprises of people who really know the steps, it's quite awesome. Throw in a few guys who don't know the steps, you mess up the dance for not just the people watching, you might end up getting hurt or stepping a few toes and really hurting people.

A beautiful memory to remain, here's to Charu's happily ever after. God Bless!.

On a very light note: I haven't read the whole of Gandhi's 'My Experiments with Truth', but there was a chapter for non-detail in school. I remember reading that Gandhi took dance lessons, now Gandhi was Gujju, and he would have learnt to 'Garba'. And if you can 'Garba' you can pretty much pick up any dance. Did Gandhi know 'Garba'?

What if...

1. Information was free and opinions not forced upon.

2. Gods had no name.

3. Religions had no house of worship.

4. Lands were not separated by borders.

5. Education was free.

6. Just enough money is enough.

7. We are blessed with forgiveness in abundance

Do you think this would make the world a better place to live

Working on a Saturday

When waking up on a Saturday seems to be such a big burden, waking up and going to work would be the worst thing ever to happen. I have work today, not because I want to, but just because I have to. We have to compensate for a holiday we got for the local election in Hyderabad. So we work on this Saturday. Last time when we had the holiday for State and Lok Sabha elections we were asked to compensate for the same by working a Saturday. Later on that was cancelled quoting some court rule or something.

Maybe today's work is going to be unconstitutional. If this is true then can we get a day off on Monday. I hate Mondays, no matter how good or bad the weekend was, waking up and getting back to work on a Monday is a big drag. Weekends are happy and 'Weekbegins' are sad.

I say let's make Monday optional working days, it is a working day, but it's...(pause)... 'o-p-t-i-o-n-a-l'. Monday is the day when you mentally and physically prepare to get back to work after the weekend. Now why can't you do the same on Sunday? Well that is so not workforce friendly. You could get stoned to death in Kerala and WB for asking that question. So where were we, yup 'optional' working day. It's not compulsory but it's (pause) 'optional', you are not forced to come to office, if you feel like coming to office you come do your time and go home.

Yup that's it, the solution for a Happy Weekend and a Happy 'Weekbegin'

We'll never run out of 'tomorrows'

Coldplay - The Scientist
by itami

Live blogging a 'Go-Live'

18. New Go Live date 'tomorrow'

17. The trail transactions failed, the reason not so small. The whole implementation never considered 'migrated data'. Result: Configuration data mismatch left right center across applications.

16. Meanwhile in the Actual Outsourced IT Vendor's place. A meeting for discussing results of 'trail run' on the Production system, very solemn meeting with the subtle tone of the Project Manager's snore in the back ground.

15. While all this was happening, tomorrow went by. 'Tomorrow' went by THRICE.

New Go Live date 'tomorrow'.

14. Call Center agent setups are being done, user creation happening in the application. Call Center Agent screens not working.

13. Big hustle and bustle at the new call center, machines all booted up, but still not within the network.

12. Outsourced IT Vendor finds a loop hole- You get the a Call Center up and a arrange for a ribbon cutting ceremony for the new Call Center means you have 'Gone Live!'.

11. Focus now changes on getting the Call Center ready.

10. Outsourced IT Vendor is in a jinx with the date. They can't go live 'tomorrow', there is a 200 seater call center to be setup (by tomorrow).

9. Outsourced IT Vendor gets a date from it's Actual Outsourced IT vendor- it's tomorrow. WTF!

8. Post lunch there is the rumour of a 'Go-Live!' and there is a date- It's 'tomorrow'.

New Go live Date: tomorrow

7. Somewhere down south from all that's happening, there is this team working on issues and bugs, setting up and instance for a 'Parallel Run' simultaneously juggling the work to get their machines setup in the new office.

6. Outsourced IT vendor goes and ask the 'Go-Live!' date to the IT vendor to whom they have outsourced the work.

5. Implementation Vendor caught unaware, calls up the outsourced IT vendor and asks for a 'Go-Live!' date.

4. Meeting agenda changes. 'Parallel Run' changes to 'Go-Live!'. Who needs a parallel run, Who needs a proper user training. Parallel Runs and trainings are for sissies. When can you 'Go-Live!

3. IT department having a day long meeting with the New Software Implementation vendor about the 'Parallel Run' gets to know that the $h!T's hit the fan. Need to find some cover.

2. The Business users point the finger at the IT department.

1. Client's mission critical CRM and Billing application goes down for a particular LOB.

New Go Live Date: tomorrow

Arbeit macht frei

We shifted... finally. Our new work place is DLF Cybercity or something. Boy is it huge or what, it's a building still under construction. With just few of the zones which are functional, I'm at the 4th Zone 5th Floor and it's got like 2 levels of parking beneath what is already built and what's being built. Huge, I'm not sure on how the other floors are modeled, but my floor is modeled in the typical Nazi format, there are these huge floors which are divided into bays, huge bays. I mean it's bigger than Cyberspace or Gateway, the workstations are modeled similar to the 'Chicken Coop' in Gateway but with a different color scheme.

It's a bit crowed, but only when you compare it with the workplace in foreign countries, I've been to Germany for a month and the place I used to walk to everyday was a proper room. A very huge room. With just 4 seats, 4 telephones, and 4 workstations. You never get a feeling that there is a guy next to you, that you can hear him breathing. Here at DLF you get a feeling that it's like a IT Concentration camp when you find your way to the Cafeteria. It's a very sad sight, very few tables not enough to seat even the strength of one floor. Not sure whether it was was planned in a bit of a hurry or was it not planned at all. The other thing that I miss about my old workplaces is that if you felt the food in office was no great then, there were options once you cross the road outside office. We do miss that here in DLF there's no alternate source of food. The ones that are there are real far from office.

Maybe once the whole building is complete, there would be a common food court or something that would be planned. But that's going to take some time, and by that time we might shift to another building. Coming to think of it, with the number of times my team have shifted our office, I think this is the senior management way of bringing 'change' to the work experience in our project.

Mechanical

I'm doing great today morning, I slept off a bad headache yesterday night. Now i'm doing fine. I hate going to office, not because office sucks- it's just that the work sucks these days. It's just the same everyday, bitching on calls, playing the blame games. My project is nearing a big milestone, it's Going Live in a few days, but it's not going live because it's proper and ready, it's going live because there's nowhere else to go other than the deadpool.

The whole project is a case study on 'How not to do projects'. We messed up everything from 'requirement gathering' to 'development' to 'setting up the client expectations right. We made compromises, we compromised alot. We did a sham job in collaborating properly with various teams within the consortium. We had new project plans with fancy targets titled "Parallel Run', 'Cut over', 'Semi-Go Live'. We made a big joke with giving dates, it turned out to be the biggest farce in the whole project. The thing wrong about our project here is, what we are delivering is not what the client would want, what is developed is what each and every team in the consortium have developed within what they are comfortable with. Designs among applications was never aimed at 'What's best for the solution'.

In a few more hours I'll be sitting somewhere in a cubicle getting back on my daily mechanical routine of checking mails, attending calls, reading feeds etc. The only different thing today is, it's a new building. And for once, in the 4 year lifetime of this project, all the teams are placed on the same floor. That would only mean, we'd have less bitching on calls. I need a break from this. Need to get busy with something new.

I feel so mechanical when I reach office, I have to get something going, got to learn something. Got to settle down fast and get working on the 'Writer's Guild' that Vasu and me are planning for the next Dreamforce. Got to spent sometime on the shorts for Youtube thing that I been planning (got to loop in Laukik for this). Get myself to know Android.

OK, now it just struck me... I'm not just Mechanical... I'm Mechanical lazy!!!

OK.... Maybe it's not the last time I swipe out off Cyberspace.

Well we won't be moving into our new building today. The installations and all are still going on, not everybody in the team have their workstations configured and ready to work. So it's back to Cyberspace, today. Boy I hate Mondays!!!

My Generation

I was talking to Laukik of LSD, while listening to this CD of Marathi Little Champs. He was telling me about each song that the tiny tots were singing. I was like totally surprised about the varied genre for the selected songs being sung by these kids. Folk songs, devotional songs, patriotic songs and the best part was, not all were from movies. From the Lil Champs show in Kerala and even the Senior Champs in Kerala, most of the songs in Malayalam is just movie songs. I mean it's what everybody listens too, it's the main stream thing in Malayalam. Movie songs, that is the it thing in Kerala I mean that's what everybody hears, that's what everybody sings in these contest. If it's not in a movie, it's not sung on TV.

Now he as always a true Marathi, and now with Shveta, the LSD as they would be known, are like twice Marathi, talk about the theater scene in Marathi, the music scene, about how they still know a lot of the folk songs, how it gets passed on from their parents. And how there are all these music being passed to the next generation in various ways. 2009 or 2010 there is this Marathi culture that's been passed on from generation to generation. Maybe there is a generation of non Marathi speaking Marathi growing up, even we have a mallu generation finding pride in not know to read write and speak Malayalam. The point I'm making is, 'MNS' or 'no MNS' there is a part of the culture that's been passed on from generation to generation. I like that. And I miss that in my being a Mallu.

After every discussion about this I end saying $h!T man why don't my Malayalam have this. Where is all this in malayalam, when I want to tell my next generation about what being mallu is, I still don't have an answer. Would I just end up saying being mallu means Harathaal, Mamooty. Mohanlal, Yesudas, AKG, EMS and Sreeshant. Where's my Shivaji equivalent? what about stories of some Mallu king who fought fearlessly and ruled his country just and wise? When will I be able to name a Malayalam theater actor and say that, this guys acting is rocking? When asked about the various Genres in Malayalam music, what will I say- Mimicry, Movie and Devotional.

Will my next generation ever learn a Malayalam folk song or is it going to be a generation that just knows their rhymes and Backstreet Boys. Do we have a generation who know the diffrence between 'theater' and theater 'theater'. The Tele-serials and reruns of 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' is not the only thing other than Movies. Is there a generation that knows how to 'make' butter and ghee. Where did we go wrong? Did too much 'oil money' make us more modern? Are we moving to a Pizza and Cornflake generation away from the idiyappama and puttu generation. Is our syllabus so not true to my culture, are we too much into breeding Engineers and MBAs that we compromise dropping Malayalam in 10th just to make space for another extra class for Maths and Science

Is there a Mallu generation there that is still in touch with it's true culture. Have we lost it... do we still have a chance to save what's left of it?